You wanna know?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

fact & fiction

detoxed and fresh
no longer spoiled
clean and wiser
happy and balanced

renewed, clued-in and excited.

ready
to
start
each
day
with
an
optimistic
point of view.

head up, walk straight, and show your smiling face.

no longer depressed, head in a mess, constant stress, evaporated morphine sister-less, no more neediness.

watch out now!

good times are ahead!

yes, indeed,
someday, i said.

title 2

introverted boy wonder
makes me sit and think too much
makes me sit and drink too much
i make up stories inside my head
he reaches for the bottle
instead of the pen

he's an artist
just like me
you see,
and we've both got demons
that sit in the room
with us
every night
as soon as the boredom
starts to set in.

boy wonder
doesn't speak much
but translates everything to me
telepathically
and sometimes
i misunderstand
if i try to read it through his eyes.

i am convinced
there is a symphony inside his heart and
behind those blue eyes of pain
there is heat and wonder
for everything good
and everything bad we want to burn away

he's an introvert
and i talk too loud
when i enter rooms
extend my hand to strangers
the same hand thats ready to fight
because i am confrontational.

he's like a calm sea
while i am a hurricane

we sit in the room
with our demons
and i make up stories in my head
he reaches for the bottle
instead of the pen

we know we'll both give in
but its just a matter of when.

Friday, April 08, 2011

you dont know me but,

send me a prayer
while I dance upon broken glass
wish me luck and cross your fingers
while I spit out lies
and attempt to hide my madness

Ask the saints to watch over me
while I lay down this destructive path
pray that the Gods forgive me
when I've stepped out of the light

when I'm tangled up beneath the covers
when I'm crawling backwards up the walls
when the fog is settling in
and the dogs are ready to tear me apart

send me a little prayer
and relieve me from this
so that I may be delivered
into the hands of mercy

and I could breathe again
in the wake of my new illusions

Dive.

you burn your bridges girl...
faster than
you change your underwear.

your mouth shoots poison
quicker than your brain
can process
the consequence.

look at you girl,
spreading your love
as if you were for sale
always entering rooms
like a hurricane

you remind me of:
a wilted dandelion
inevitably being pulled
by the wind

no care,
no mystery

just a bruised, paranoid heart
stitched onto
a used up sleeve

we had the blues while the city was on fire.

the scene, currently:

I am in a blue room with an orange painting that hangs to my left.
a dead, colorless rose, pinned to a wall with a frame around it.
last nights bottle of rum, sits lonely and forgotten

outside,
the city glows orange
from the fires
in the hills

its just
heat,
suffocation
and stillness

everywhere

but

we are inside this room
we are buried inside ourselves
we want to sleep
yet we are not awake

we're simply
just being

much like the orange painting hanging on the wall
much like the colorless rose, framed
much like the lonely and forgotten bottle of rum

we are all of these things
and then some.

the suffering.

The suffering

Has outlasted its welcome

Like a friend from out of town

Crashing on your couch.



The suffering

Has us

crawling on our knees

scraping pennies

Eating peanut butter

For dinner

Out of jars



The suffering

Has us

Traumatized

From over drafted bank accounts

Cars running on empty

That familiar tightness

In the belly

In the heart

On your life






But don't fret

The suffering

Is your friend



It drives you

It propels you

It separates you

From the rich bitches

With soft asses

And bored hearts

Who know nothing

About

Getting down in the trenches



When the days are cloudy

And the nights are long

When you go to bed hungry

And your mind is about to break



Remember

The suffering

is the teacher

that demands discipline

from your heart

for whatever it is

you're putting on the line.



This suffering

Will tear you down

force you out of

that comfortable

and familiar rhythm



and someday

You will thank it

When you've finally reached

the place

and the person

you were meant to be.

Learn your lesson well.

Listen,

Just cause you bought me
fancy lingerie
from a high end store
doesn't make you
my boyfriend.

it just makes you
a sucker
who had high hopes