schism. 1

don't waste away. leave this place. quickly.

the weak are like vampires. i use my compass often.

i
try to say
what
i
feel.

always. i have been cursed from the start. torn apart. lifted, then thrown back into the pit.

it's black magic!

it's the universe laughing at me!

it's something i cannot confess or conceal!

i'm sliding down into myself. making sense of my shadows. dwelling in there, simmering, bubbling over.

something reached for me. i pulled away. i will not be caught...yet!

i will not be caught, i will not be caught.

i say this over and over; it is my mantra.

maybe someday, i will believe it.

I am youthful in appearance
worn down in the soul
heart jaded or more like,
pre-occupied with the minor things

I sometimes spin a confusing web
of stories that may or may not be true

I've left situations in chaos
stirred up the pot by my own will
I've decided I'm a fucker
rather than
being fucked.

I've decided I'm many things
and easy isn't one of them.

You can travel down this road
with a plan and with a map
but you will get side tracked

I will make sure of this.

I am youthful in appearance
with a sweet devil smile
one hand behind my back
and tricks on my mind

but I assure you
it's a fun ride.