it must be the weather.

hello out there. can you hear me?

im calling to you from my psychic waves ramped up on coffee and no sleep for 2 days.

can you hear me?

hello!

you see the world out there? all wild and spinning and holding all these people in place. but the people...the people are so disgusting and beautiful. they run their mouths, they build things, they destroy things, they don't know how to love but want to BE loved. they cry and they fight and they pull you close and they want to care, but they are afraid. its a world of terrified people. i am one of them. you are too. we've got our things, we've done some things-things we try to bury deep down. things we try to push down with every drink, every empty conversation.

no.

its not that bad.

this....thing...it is what it is. where's the truth in all of it? maybe you're right and i'm wrong. maybe i'm right and you're..what does it matter? we could both be right. either way we're gonna end up in the same place...all this life, the pain of living, the beauty of living...the people we meet, the people we'd like to forget, the people we'll never get to meet..what does it matter? i'm here. you're here and its the present moment. what am i trying to say?

hello, how are you? can you hear me?

i hope you get this message.

hiatus.

something in here is blocked
something inside is blocked.
i havent been alive in a while
i've been stuck inside of here
something in here is blocked

im trying
trying
trying

this is quite difficult

when you take away something
you've been doing for so long


this is hell

and so it goes a river that flows a clever caption on an old photograph from 1985

i thought i found it once

it floated above me in this dark room
i was in a place i could not recall
but it was there-it floated above me
it looked straight at me
coaxed me into its shadows
i sat and stared-i was in a trance
i begged for it to take me
yet i fought against it

it burned its essence into every corner of the room

something inside is blocked

i want to burst into flames
cast him out of me
shut it down-start all over again
demand some answers
kick down the walls
hit until my fists bleed

im trying
trying
trying

pull the chord already


this is just a test.