I cannot function today. I was standing in the 7-11 parking lot questioning my existence. Am I really doing this? Am I really here? Who dropped me off and left me here on this planet? this life?
I cannot function today. I am staring at my computer screen waiting for something.
Maybe if I pretend a little bit, I will get through the day.
I am walking on a hairline between total dysfunction and success.
I am upset that I cannot create, that I am no longer as brilliant as I used to be, no longer serving a purpose, no longer connected to art, to myself, to you, to that inner light, which is vastly growing dim. But I am pretending, pretending all the way into the bottom of the bottle where I find myself again, reaching for something, and rising up like a phoenix into an artificial life, comforted by mediocrity, accepting the dysfunction and allowing myself to just sit in the waste.
end of note.
No comments:
Post a Comment