automatic midnight with boy wonder

he was pale and very thin, with long limbs and jagged boned hips. he wrapped his thin arm around me and kissed me on the forehead. we had been drinking since 10pm and now it was 3am. his blue eyes are beautiful still, even when the redness in his face gives away his severely inebriated state.

i fell asleep somewhere between our last conversation and when the room started to turn that calming, peaceful blue. it must've been 5am.

when i woke up again, he was asleep, lost in a dream. and when we woke up again, it was 11am. he started to have the shakes. i was both terrified and sad to see him in such a state. i fed him breakfast: an ice cold tecate with lime, and he seemed better again; he seemed himself.

so this was how the weekend came to be. and i couldnt help myself to join in, because i am just as much addicted to what he called 'Mother Booze'

we both described that warm embrace as soon as the booze kicks in. we had this thing, we had found eachother although temporarily, we atleast had this. everyone picks their poison..and i confess to choosing mine.

"mother booze. both my curse and my muse" i recited to him as we cheered eachother and drank our fears, our fucked up childhood memories, our loneliness, away with every bottle.

bring on that warm embrace as the alcohol takes place-swirling swiftly through our blood, casting that magic spell making us reach that destination we're always trying to find sober and never can. i know, its the problem we have but everyone chooses their poison and at 10pm on a saturday night, we are lost inside the bottles and in our own made up dreams.this make believe life we create so that we are allowed to exist, to manage all the painful shit.

and at 8am, when we woke up again still drunk and light headed, he asked for more beer before the shakes set in again. i gave him another and watched him down the can head back and eyes closed, his body naked, pale, and thin. a boy and a man, far ahead of me traveling down that grimy road.

sometimes, some people gotta travel their own dark roads alone.